Posted by Kevin.

As you can probably tell from this site, Farstar isn't exactly a collection of staid individuals. In fact, most of us have never used the word "staid" for any reason. Not even to win Boggle. And while we're not known for bedecking ourselves in neckties or pantsuits, we're also not usually found dressed in that soft, fluffy, Muppet skin known as felt.

Until now.

For our 2008 Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Feast of Teragon, popcorn tin-free, client-assaulting extravaganza of wackiosity, we've busted out the world's oldest textile and draped it over the BMOF himself, Mike Reyher.

Now, at last, the shocking truth about Mike's ancestry can be revealed:

Shocked? Amazed? Craving some Deluxe Grahams? We understand. But before you head down to the Kwiki Mart in search of elfin goodness, here's a little background scoop on the production:

1. Mike is not really an elf. He's Canadian.
2. Mike's elf suit reeked of beef and cheese even before he downed three Quarter Pounders and a Hickory Farms sampler.
3. That was actually Randy's car that received the fudge striping.
4. The fudge-striping fudge was not edible. But it did come out in the wash.
5. Mike's magical shoe-repairing powers are a reference to the original Grimm's fairy tale "The Elves and the Shoemaker."
6. Mike did repair Brandi's shoe. With a 3M Command™ Strip.
7. Randy really does know.
8. Vic doesn't really dig it.
9. Blue backgrounds will not guarantee a 12% increase in click-thru rates. It's more like 9%.
10. Due to an outstanding restraining order, Leigh Anne was really given the phone number to Bert Favre, not Brett. Sorry, Bert.
11. There is no elf union. There is, however, a secret society of gnomes known as The Gnomenclature.
12. Mike does not hate Orlando Bloom. He hates Orlando Jones.

I have a feeling getting Mike to dress up in various, humiliating costumes will become a tradition. Hopefully, we'll always have a camera around.

kl